No answer, I’m not surprised but as usual, disappointed. Tony is one of those people who selfishly believe they are so busy that they can’t spare one minute of their day to write a quick email or return a phone call. One of my Rules of the Race is that you return contact promptly, mostly because I find people that don’t incredibly disrespectful and it prevents me getting things done. Still, he’s a mate and most importantly, my insider, so I continually make allowances for the fact that the he’s about as reliable as Amy Winehouse is to stay sober on St. Patrick’s Day.
Ignoring my agitation, I begin my daily activity of craftily convincing people with lots of money to let us at Invest Co put their dollars it to things they don’t understand. Brian walks by my desk as I’m speaking with a client who wants to know where my firm is going to invest the $500,000 I persuaded him to give us. I like and respect Brian, but I’m troubled again by the new Bluetooth headset he has been sporting and find myself once again squinting at it accompanied by a little shake of my head. My puzzled look changes to one of admiration as I notice the fine new shoes he is wearing, I must ask him where he got them, and so write ‘B shoes’ on a post-it to remind myself. “Hello?” Oh that’s right, I’m on the phone, “Yes err, sorry Mr. Phillips. I’ll send you the details of the new Fund’s proposed investments in the next 10 minutes. Say hello to your lovely wife Linda for me.” Linda, Mr. Phillip’s enchanting young American wife, and ever-present distraction whenever I have met her husband, continually tries to seduce me during the frequent stops her husband makes to the bathroom. If he wasn’t such an important client to me maybe I…. “Mate, wanna grab a coffee?” Jono has, as always, interrupted my thought process. I hate it when he calls me ‘mate’ but I agree to the proposal “Ok Jono, let’s go for a walk.” I know what’s coming; we are both about to do our best Columbo impression and try to scope out how our respective discussions with Brian have gone.
Before we begin our charade my mobile phone rings. It’s 10.48am, a full 48 hours after I sent Tony a text message asking him to call me as soon as possible. “Sorry, I’ve got to take this” I say while walking away into a meeting room. Mobile phone calls in a meeting room; the internationally reognised sign to the rest of the office that you’re either arguing with your partner, looking for a new job or generally doing something you shouldn’t be on company time.
“Tones, finally, any news?” Tony is a beer buddy of mine and the Melbourne based head of Invest Co’s HR department. A good bloke but like anyone who works in recruitment, he’s, well, you know, a bit of arse. “G’day. Sorry, been busy. I’m streamlining our staffing policies so we only hire people that can hit the ground running. Best practice, you know, win win.” Tony is a man of business buzzwords and expertly works them into almost sentence he speaks. “Yeah that’s great, but any news on the position?” Having been present at all three interviews Jono and I have each had for the Senior Manager role Brian is vacating as he takes up his Directorship, Tones is the man in the know. “Well Brian will be talking to your blokes this afternoon, as you know. Don’t push the envelope; he’ll talk to you when he’s ready. No hardball from him on this one, the decision has been made.” “Come on Tony, give me something. You owe me remember.” A short silence, then “Maybe put your tailor on standby.” All I needed to hear, not that there was even any real doubt.
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