Complaining

Pete is topping up my glass of champagne. “Pete, sorry but like I said, not today. Big meeting this afternoon.” He ignores my request. “Young man, you simply need a second glass to loosen up, you’re too tense, I won’t pour another I promise.” He’s right, I am too tense today. With the potential promotion, Jono’s antics in the meeting and Brian’s odd behaviour, my mind is racing like Makybe Diva after a few cans of Red Bull.

A racing mind is both my blessing and my curse. I become fixated on things I need to do, or correct, to bring my world back to where I want it to be. An active and racing mind has allowed me to achieve, I get what I want by making it happen. If I want something, I’ll figure out quickly how I can get it and put that plan into action. The problem is, if that thing I want is unavailable or unachievable then I deconstruct the situation in my head and can dwell upon it. Fortunately, I have had very few failures in my life, so the latter is not a frequent problem.

“You’re right; I need to forget the outside world for a bit.” The ‘N Sync look-alikes are still making lots of noise and I’m wondering if I should complain about them. This is, after all, the country’s top restaurant, and should be respected as such, not treated like a Contiki Tour bus. “Are those guys bothering you Pete?” “Are who bothering me?” Pete hasn’t even noticed them. “Never mind.”

I hear a smashing of a glass at their table and decide to call the maitre d' over, a beautiful young auburn woman. I very rarely complain in restaurants. It can be a difficult task involving several elements, but today I’m a little tense so feel the urge. When complaining, you must be discreet so as not to alert your aggressor, to avoid any potential scene, which I’ve witnessed numerous times. You must also be polite as you can muster to the staff you’re complaining to but stress that you’re not happy and you require a resolution promptly (it is usually worth suggesting the resolution you require). Smile like a mouth model, but make it a disappointed smile. Put these things together and any good restaurant will take care of the problem. I do all these things expertly today, and throw in a healthy dose of charm; because I’m pretty sure I caught the maitre d' looking at me earlier. “I understand completely sir, the noise issue will be addressed, I’m very sorry to disturb your dining experience.” She says, while touching my shoulder. She then goes over to ‘N Sync and, presumably, asks them to turn down the volume, or take their after show party elsewhere. It seems to work, at least for now.

“Right Pete, now that I can hear myself think, why don’t we order our lunch and get down to some business for a bit?” I’m starving, and Pete is always hungry, most importantly though I need to get control of this lunch before Pete has his way and it gets out of control. “You read my mind young man, but first, another bottle of champagne I think. Waiter?”